Pirates of the Caribbean: Maccus action figure
I posted before about how enamoured I was of Maccus, the hammerhead guy, when I saw POTC2. In fact, seeing how awesome he looked in the trailer was one of the main reasons I went to the movie. The other was because I’d come across the action figures in K-Mart a month or so before the movie was released, and decided any movie that spawned an action figure of a guy with squid tentacles on his face and a lobster claw for a hand was a must see.
I liked the original POTC just fine, but the sequel slammed the ball right outta the park. Davy Jones and his scurvy crew, the Kraken, that awesome sword fight on the island… so much coolness.
Maccus does not like photographs, because they haven’t been invented yet.
The Pirates toyline is put out by Zizzle, a relatively new toy company that does mostly licensed stuff, and that weird-ass iPod creature that looks like Orbity from The Jetsons.
I was pretty disappointed that there wasn’t a Maccus action figure available in the first wave of the collection. Another company, NECA, did put out a highly-detailed, collector-focused line that included Maccus, but toys being made for adult collectors really goes against my philosphy. I like toys because they’re toys. They don’t have to be works of fine sculpture, they just have to be cool and fun.
Anyway, after checking Zizzle’s website sporadically after the movie came out, I was ecstatic to learn that a Maccus figure was planned for the second wave of figures. There’s very little information or appreciation for Zizzle’s Pirates in the online toy community, so I had no idea when the second wave would make it down here.
I’d almost given up when it seemed that department stores had stopped stocking the figures, but then last week I came across a veritable bounty (arrr!) of Pirates toys in Target, hidden away behind the Bratz section. They had the second wave, so I searched through looking for my Maccus and eventually found one. It was the only one there, too, buried among multiple Jack Sparrows and Will Turners. I had to stop myself from doing an elaborate victory dance right there in the aisle.
The good thing about the Christmas season is that losers like me can go into shops and rummage through the toy shelves without having to put on a big act, like pretending you’re on your mobile phone asking what toy you’re supposed to be looking for, or muttering (loudly) to yourself, ‘Oh, he’ll like this!’ And then, going through the checkout, there’s none of that burning shame and murderous intent towards anyone who may snicker. I really should stop carrying a flick-knife.
The packaging is really cool, with the die-cut scroll/treasure map look and the simple image of the burning Jolly Roger. Another great thing about this line is the filecards on the back:
All the great action figure lines have filecards. I like the cynical tone, too. ‘Major Possessions: Time and little else.’ That probably would’ve made me laugh my ass off as a kid.
That is an awesome ‘come get some’ pose.
All Maccus comes with is a battle-axe, which is kind of disappointing. The other figures come with multiple accessories, like removable tri-corner hats, pistols, and swords. I know it’s kinda hard to come up with accoutrements for a mutated freak who gets around in cut-off pants, but still… At least you can put the axe in his belt thing for storage, for when he’s just standing around shooting the breeze with the other freaky-deaky pirates.
His hands are perfect to pose for air guitar, or even… axe guitar! I bet he pulls that trick at sea-shanty parties. You’d have to find some way to amuse yourself when you’re cursed to roam the seas for all eternity.
P.S. Dear Santa, I want this for Christmas you fat fuck:
Thanks for the feedback, thought you might like some of your own! Your blog is hilarious, keep it up!
Haha! You are right about having to pretend to be shopping for a younger brother.
Me and my friend used to go shopping for Star Wars figures in Toys R Us, but when ever another shopper came nearby we would say ‘I wonder if Tommy would like this one?’
I think that we just ended up looking like a gay couple who had adopted a kid who liked Star Wars though…Anyway…
My sister is collecting Davey Jones figures now and she got the Zizzle one yesterday.
‘Squeeze Davey’s legs together to see his snapper in action!’ Erm…Alright then^^
The sequel’s going to have a lot to live up too, To be honest I wasn’t expecting much out of this one and it was one of the best summer movies I’ve seen in a long time.
Same here Reaper! I never saw the first one. But when I was in Melbourne I had to kill a couple of hours till I could get into my hotel room. I was carrying my luggage around with me and decided that I could go sleep in the movie theatre for a bit to kill the time.
I thought ‘This Pirate movie looks like the least shit of the shit that they are screening, one ticket please…’
It turned out to be one of the best action/comedy/swashbuckling movies ever!
It brought back the same feelings I have when I watch Star Wars - A New Hope…
If only the new Star Wars movies had been like Pirates of the Carribean instead of trying to imitate 1950s Bible/Knights of the Round Table-style movies, then…Don’t know how to finish the sentence
You can’t cocktease me with that wet dream of a Pirates meets Star Wars idea. You must finish that treatement of that idea and send it to me. ; )
Ummm…I imagine the movie would involve a race between the Millennium Falcon and the Black Pearl…
It would also include a bizarre battle between the Kraken and the Sarlacc Pit monster where each monster vomits up Jack Sparrow and Boba Fett respectively,resulting in a 45 minute long space/desert/ocean gun battle
The Undead Monkey and Selacious Crumb might feature in a tacked on romantic sub-plot…Look, I’m just throwing ideas out there, George Lucas is free to pick and choose which ever he likes…He can go around with his little ‘APPROVED’ stamp…the sad knob.
[...] From Zizzle, the same company that gave us the cool POTC action figures, Zizzlingers fall under the heading of ‘novelty toy’. Basically you throw them into water, they fizz and dissolve and shoot lasers all over the fucking place like the ship in The Last Starfighter, and then after the show you’re left with a couple of little character statuettes. [...]
“Gitoku said, on November 17th, 2006 at 2:19 am
Ummm…I imagine the movie would involve a race between the Millennium Falcon and the Black Pearl…
It would also include a bizarre battle between the Kraken and the Sarlacc Pit monster where each monster vomits up Jack Sparrow and Boba Fett respectively,resulting in a 45 minute long space/desert/ocean gun battle
”
Give this man the 10,000 dollars!